[ It is possible one of his housemates has moved the the crochet bag of dicks, but he doubts it. Pyrrha seems to find them funny, Augustine probably thinks it's fitting, Big Bird seems to primly ignore John's wilder decorating decisions and Mercy is still sulking in the attic. The bag of dicks is one of his closest friends, right about now. ]
Every time I don't stab the ocean I look at that bag of dicks and say, wow, I am clearing this bar so well right now.
I can make a commercial and everything. How about something like this?
[She emulates exactly the tone so often seen on commercials.]
Do you find yourself wanting to stab the ocean? Or maybe your thoughts keep leaning toward mass murder? Sign up for life coaching advice with me, Tory Nichols. I'll teach you how to make better life choices so that you can make more friends and fewer enemies. My program involves positive reinforcement and encouraging healthier interests so that you can enjoy a life without people's pesky attempts at revenge against you. Sign up today!
[ He claps. In the bland tone of a television testimonial: ]
The Nichols program changed my life. I used to spend hours a day being targeted for bloody vengeance, and now I have learned to draw flowers and pet puppies. Thanks, Tory Nichols.
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[ It is possible one of his housemates has moved the the crochet bag of dicks, but he doubts it. Pyrrha seems to find them funny, Augustine probably thinks it's fitting, Big Bird seems to primly ignore John's wilder decorating decisions and Mercy is still sulking in the attic. The bag of dicks is one of his closest friends, right about now. ]
Every time I don't stab the ocean I look at that bag of dicks and say, wow, I am clearing this bar so well right now.
no subject
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[She emulates exactly the tone so often seen on commercials.]
Do you find yourself wanting to stab the ocean? Or maybe your thoughts keep leaning toward mass murder? Sign up for life coaching advice with me, Tory Nichols. I'll teach you how to make better life choices so that you can make more friends and fewer enemies. My program involves positive reinforcement and encouraging healthier interests so that you can enjoy a life without people's pesky attempts at revenge against you. Sign up today!
no subject
The Nichols program changed my life. I used to spend hours a day being targeted for bloody vengeance, and now I have learned to draw flowers and pet puppies. Thanks, Tory Nichols.