I can make a commercial and everything. How about something like this?
[She emulates exactly the tone so often seen on commercials.]
Do you find yourself wanting to stab the ocean? Or maybe your thoughts keep leaning toward mass murder? Sign up for life coaching advice with me, Tory Nichols. I'll teach you how to make better life choices so that you can make more friends and fewer enemies. My program involves positive reinforcement and encouraging healthier interests so that you can enjoy a life without people's pesky attempts at revenge against you. Sign up today!
[ He claps. In the bland tone of a television testimonial: ]
The Nichols program changed my life. I used to spend hours a day being targeted for bloody vengeance, and now I have learned to draw flowers and pet puppies. Thanks, Tory Nichols.
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[She emulates exactly the tone so often seen on commercials.]
Do you find yourself wanting to stab the ocean? Or maybe your thoughts keep leaning toward mass murder? Sign up for life coaching advice with me, Tory Nichols. I'll teach you how to make better life choices so that you can make more friends and fewer enemies. My program involves positive reinforcement and encouraging healthier interests so that you can enjoy a life without people's pesky attempts at revenge against you. Sign up today!
no subject
The Nichols program changed my life. I used to spend hours a day being targeted for bloody vengeance, and now I have learned to draw flowers and pet puppies. Thanks, Tory Nichols.